pluchh

As I hold the razor above my wrist I say I sorry But I guess I'm really not. After every sliver I cut, with every new mark I make I would close my eyes and feel the pain that I welcome into my skin. I enjoy feeling the tingling sensation after each cut I make; it feels a lot better than the aching of my heart and the heaviness of my eyes. I can almost feel the emotions departing my body… just almost. They're never really gone, they just wait to come back to haunt me, kind of like my own personal ghosts. I cut and I cut even more, after the cuts, I think I feel better until the next urge I get comes along. Up until someone stares at me weird,

I hope your finally happy, I hope now your free. Now it's nothing to you, Still everything to me. From tears falling, To my silent screams. They hate me or you, It's like were choosing teams. Are you happy,  As happy as you can be? I really hope you are, Cuz you let go of me.

I don't wanna go to bed, I want this all to end. I wanna make things better, I wanna stop feeling like a cutter. I can't do this, I wanna feel tht perfect bliss. So make the marks, make the blows, I'll say goodbye to friends and foes. I can't do this anymore, my heart is just too worn. Let the rain wash away, all my pain just go away.